They announced the winners of the She Speaks Conference scholarship contest this morning at 11:00 Eastern Time. This post was my entry for the contest if you missed it.
I couldn't bring myself to look to see who won this morning, so I just prayed. I wanted it so badly, but felt so much the desire of all the people who entered, I didn't know how they could possibly choose a winner.
They couldn't....pick one that is. God made a way for them to pick three! Two hours past the announcement, I finally got the courage to go look and see who won and there it was "Everyday Becky." : )
I was shocked and started crying immediately. : ) I can't put into words how much I needed this confirmation from the Lord and how amazing it is to see Him do this for me.
I was going through my prayer journal yesterday, and reading some of my prayers about my book and my dreams for ministry. When I saw the announcement this morning, I remembered writing down this song and praying about it in December. Here's what I wrote:
Here I Am
(Song by Downhere)
Sometimes your calling, comes in a dream
Sometimes it comes in the Spirit's breeze
You reach for the deepest part of me,
And call out for the things of eternity.
But I'm a man, of dust and stains,
You move in me,
so I can say,
Here I am,
Lord send me,
All of my life,
I make an offering,
Here I am,
Lord send me,
Somehow my story,
Is part of your plan,
Here I am
When setbacks and failures,
and upset plans,
Test my faith and leave me with empty hands,
Are you not the closest when it's hardest to stand?
I know that you will finish what you began.
These broken parts you redeem,
Become the song, that I can sing
Overwhelmed by the thought of my weakness,
And the fear that I'll fail you in the end,
In this mess, I'm just one of the pieces,
I can't put this together but you can.
Somehow my story is part of your plan and if it means I have to be exposed and transparent and take some rejection, I’ll do what you want me to do. Please give me the strength and grace to handle it and please show me the right timing. One of my favorite lines in the song is, “I can’t put this together, but you can.” I’ll just sit back and wait for your miracle, your direction, your leading, your equipping, whatever it will take to do with it what you will. Help me to truly let go.
HE'S SO GOOD TO ME!
Thank you, Lord for hearing me and caring about my dreams.
Thank you for making a way.
Thank you for the amazing confirmation I needed to not give up.
I love you.
I'm so thankful, so humbled, and so in shock. : )
I'm so excited to go.
Thank you for this miracle. Please comfort the hearts of those who did not win, but have such big dreams for you. Realize those dreams for them and move mountains to get them to the conference. Help them to feel you in this and to know that you are the author of their dreams. Thank you for being so good to me, Lord.