Problem Child

I have one of those personalities that you might title, "Rule Follower." Living in constant dread of getting in trouble, I try extra hard to follow the rules.

After a weekend of learning more than my heart and mind could contain, and doing it all on very, very little sleep, I was slightly loopy as I went through the Charlotte Airport on my way home. My airheadedness along with extra grumpy airport employees was NOT a good combination. : )

First was my trip through security.

My too big, overstuffed carry-on, held everyone behind me up. I had to dig out my laptop and open it, and I could feel the impatience radiating off tne people behind me.

Rushing through the metal detector, I almost ran into a mean looking man with his arms crossed.

"Ma'am step back through the metal detector!" He boomed at me.

I hopped back through as fast as I could.

"Your shoes!" He said with disdain, pointing at my feet. Red in the face, I slipped my shoes off quickly and threw them on the conveyor belt.

Just as I was going to step back through the detector, he yelled at me, "Where is your boarding pass?"

"Uh, it just went through the x-ray with my purse. Was I supposed to have that?" I asked, hoping a smile might melt him a little.

"I'VE ONLY BEEN TELLING YOU PEOPLE THAT FOR THE LAST 10 MINUTES!" He bellowed.

Everybody was looking at me by that point. I slinked over to the other TSA agent who was waiting to see the boarding pass I DARED to send through the x-ray machine. I could hear Mr. Grumpy Pants behind me yelling, "The next person who walks through here without their boarding pass is getting tossed in the fish bowl."

(Anybody know what the fishbowl is? I think I narrowly escaped it.)

There were other ladies from the conference there who started laughing at me for being such a trouble maker. I must have had a big red target painted on me, because my mistakes continued to bring out the mean in people all the way home.

Like the lady scanning my boarding pass as I walked on to the plane. When I handed her the pass, my giant carry-on fell over on the floor which I of course planned to pick up and wheel on to the plane with me, but she didn't give me a chance.

"PICK UP YOUR BAG MA'AM," She grouched at me. Not, "Oops, you dropped your bag." or "Could you pick up your bag please." Just Pick it up, you dummy.

By that time, I was really getting teased about being in trouble.

In the air, the flight attendant was wheeling the cart down the aisle passing out drinks and snacks. When she got to me, I asked for coffee and then she said, "You want snacks?"

Not, "Would you like a snack?" Just a tone like "Do you want a snack or what lady?"

I said, "Sure. What do you have?"

To this she stared at me like I had three heads, rolled her eyes, let out an exasperated sigh and said, "PEANUTS-PRETZELS-AND COOKIES!!!!!!!"

I humbly asked for the cookies as I heard her behind me saying, "I just get so sick of saying that over and over again, PEANUTS-PRETZELS-AND COOKIES!"

My luck continued from there. I was accused of trying to use the bathroom in the First Class Section which is not for peons like me. But I'm denying that. : )

And someone who looked like me may have forgotten to put her seat back in its upright position during landing. And that same person may have mistaken the male flight attendant for a woman. But I'm definitely denying that!

I was very happy to get home to my nice, friendly West. I'm not sure if they'll allow me back in the Charlotte Airport. I might have to drive next year. : )

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