Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Problem Child

I have one of those personalities that you might title, "Rule Follower." Living in constant dread of getting in trouble, I try extra hard to follow the rules.

After a weekend of learning more than my heart and mind could contain, and doing it all on very, very little sleep, I was slightly loopy as I went through the Charlotte Airport on my way home. My airheadedness along with extra grumpy airport employees was NOT a good combination. : )

First was my trip through security.

My too big, overstuffed carry-on, held everyone behind me up. I had to dig out my laptop and open it, and I could feel the impatience radiating off tne people behind me.

Rushing through the metal detector, I almost ran into a mean looking man with his arms crossed.

"Ma'am step back through the metal detector!" He boomed at me.

I hopped back through as fast as I could.

"Your shoes!" He said with disdain, pointing at my feet. Red in the face, I slipped my shoes off quickly and threw them on the conveyor belt.

Just as I was going to step back through the detector, he yelled at me, "Where is your boarding pass?"

"Uh, it just went through the x-ray with my purse. Was I supposed to have that?" I asked, hoping a smile might melt him a little.

"I'VE ONLY BEEN TELLING YOU PEOPLE THAT FOR THE LAST 10 MINUTES!" He bellowed.

Everybody was looking at me by that point. I slinked over to the other TSA agent who was waiting to see the boarding pass I DARED to send through the x-ray machine. I could hear Mr. Grumpy Pants behind me yelling, "The next person who walks through here without their boarding pass is getting tossed in the fish bowl."

(Anybody know what the fishbowl is? I think I narrowly escaped it.)

There were other ladies from the conference there who started laughing at me for being such a trouble maker. I must have had a big red target painted on me, because my mistakes continued to bring out the mean in people all the way home.

Like the lady scanning my boarding pass as I walked on to the plane. When I handed her the pass, my giant carry-on fell over on the floor which I of course planned to pick up and wheel on to the plane with me, but she didn't give me a chance.

"PICK UP YOUR BAG MA'AM," She grouched at me. Not, "Oops, you dropped your bag." or "Could you pick up your bag please." Just Pick it up, you dummy.

By that time, I was really getting teased about being in trouble.

In the air, the flight attendant was wheeling the cart down the aisle passing out drinks and snacks. When she got to me, I asked for coffee and then she said, "You want snacks?"

Not, "Would you like a snack?" Just a tone like "Do you want a snack or what lady?"

I said, "Sure. What do you have?"

To this she stared at me like I had three heads, rolled her eyes, let out an exasperated sigh and said, "PEANUTS-PRETZELS-AND COOKIES!!!!!!!"

I humbly asked for the cookies as I heard her behind me saying, "I just get so sick of saying that over and over again, PEANUTS-PRETZELS-AND COOKIES!"

My luck continued from there. I was accused of trying to use the bathroom in the First Class Section which is not for peons like me. But I'm denying that. : )

And someone who looked like me may have forgotten to put her seat back in its upright position during landing. And that same person may have mistaken the male flight attendant for a woman. But I'm definitely denying that!

I was very happy to get home to my nice, friendly West. I'm not sure if they'll allow me back in the Charlotte Airport. I might have to drive next year. : )

14 comments:

Rachel B said...

Hilarious, Becky!!! AND "a little birdie" might have told me you were causing problems at the airport. =) lol So glad you can laugh...and share.

Kimberly said...

I think some of these airport/airline employees, not to mention other passengers, may forget that some people don't travel a lot, therefore, they don't know the ins and outs of security, in-flight dining options (like those don't change every week with airlines cutting costs), etc.

Like it's your fault that learning to get through airport security is as complicated as driving a car? Or how is it your fault that the flight attendant has to say something over and over--I don't think she's the only person who has to deal with repetitiveness in her job.

Ahh, I'm glad you saw the humor in it, because I'm torked off at all the grumpy people on your behalf.

BRiehl said...

Oh my! Too funny :) I mean, awful at the time, but funny for blogging. I am the same way - follow the rules, keep everyone happy with me...feel horrible when people are grumpy with me. Ugh. Glad you kept your cool ;)

Heidi said...

Your story was funny Becky! I'm sorry you had to go through all of that, but thank you for sharing it with all of us. Think of how many smiles you brought to your readers faces! Airports are the most confusing places on earth anyway! lol

Andi said...

Wow - I feel bad you had to be the target for everyone's frustrations at their own life. They all need to change jobs since they all seem to hate what they do. They should be thankful they have jobs!!
Thanks for sharing the now funny story. Hopefully your next trip will be better!!

Jill said...

Becky, I'm sure I left you a comment, but don't see it! Perhaps I am now the problem child!!! I'm so grateful our paths crossed so often this past weekend - it was a blessing meeting you! I look forward to see what God has in store. Tell Rochelle hello! Blessings, Jill

LifeAtTheCircus.com said...

Oh my!! What an ordeal!! Usually it takes a gaggle of many small children to bring on such ahem, "kindness" in the airport. You poor thing! Thanks for handling it all with grace and sharing the experience with the rest of us!

Did you get to Chick-Fil-A?

Mama Mimi (Dana) said...

Becky, as the not so great president Bill Clinton said "Ah fill yo pain". Thanks for being such a great example of what a Christian is though and not losing it completely, (even though I'm sure you would have been forgiven). :0)))

Em said...

Hillarious! I love your stories, they are so vivid, I can see them as though they are happening right in front of me lol. Glad you made it through all that with your humility still intact!

Blah, Blah, Blah! said...

Becky, you are one talented woman! I had my own similar security story as I tried to board the plane headed for Charlotte. I was so dishevelved by time I reached the Embassy, I really felt like walking all the way back to Houston!! But I'm so very thankful I stayed. God was there in a powerful way, wasn't He? And I know He hand-picked our eval group...what wonderfully encouraging sisters in Christ! Please keep in touch...Joyce

Katy said...

Becky you seriously need to write comedy! You had me rolling, I'm sorry that it had to come at your expense!

Mary @ Giving Up On Perfect said...

My goodness! What a mess! And I definitely mean the AIRPORT, not YOU!! I did the same thing, by the way – sent my boarding pass through the metal detector without me. The nerve! Seriously, traveling is not for the faint of heart, is it? :) It was nice to meet you at She Speaks.

Holley said...

Oh, I love it, Becky! You and I could have ended up in jail together. Another girl from the conference asked if she could put her books on top of my laptop as it went through the screener. Apparently this is a big, bad no-no. (: It was wonderful meeting you in person last weekend! You have an amazing heart and I'm so glad that I got to catch a special glimpse of it at She Speaks.

Bethany said...

Oh my gosh, I'm laughing so hard. I just flew on Sunday and can just imagine all this happening to you! I was supposed to go through the Charlotte airport, too-- glad I didn't now! ;)