Expected,
His new hours aren’t bad-
Weekends off
At least it’s not nights!
Just rearrange the schedule
Like we always do and
Adjust.
But something hardens
The words “shift change” hit this time unexpectedly
Like tipped arrows,
Nicking my heart with the poison of
Self Pity.
No!
I don’t want to s-h-i-f-t and
I don’t want to change!
I like the way it is.
A soul level tantrum where I cannot pray, “Search me…”
Because He will not find poetry inside,
Only the off rhythm heartbeat of,
“Me, me, me, me.”
The shift comes and the change happens
I fold my arms and pout, until
The dark parts are held up to the Light and
The still small Voice whispers,
“It’s time”
I surrender to the shift
I embrace the change
I adjust and
I grow.
And Shift Change becomes
Good.
**************************************************
I'm writing this today as an expression of gratitude for my patient husband, who loves me through the "soul tantrums" and times when my heartbeat is off rhythm.
I'm linking up for the first time with "A Holy Experience" for Walk with Him Wednesday"
And also for a second time with sweet Emily for Imperfect Prose. I'm so thankful for the permission to admit and to be imperfect.
Love,
Posts
11 comments:
i honestly think that when we confess our imperfections, when we air them publicly, there is a more profound shift within us, that we do become more than conquerors, an incentive to make those changes which enrich our souls and glorify Him.
"Shift" and "change" --- those two words say it all, don't they?
It's certainly no fun rolling with the professional punchs, as I know from experience! Hang in there.
"A soul level tantrum where I cannot pray, “Search me…”
Because He will not find poetry inside,
Only the off rhythm heartbeat of,
“Me, me, me, me.”...oh how I pray we have less off rhythms and more leaning in to hear His Heartbeat...may it be so
Love the beat of your writing...it's like poetry. Nothing like a confession, eh?
I’m here from Ann’s today.
To surrender to the shift – that is a good bride. It’s ok to not want to – and even grumble a little – but in the end you do what is right for your marriage. I heart that.
Thank you for this.
God Bless and Keep You and your husband and your marriage
i throw many soul tantrums myself. Shift change is hard, and a struggle. I am still learning to find peace in it.
Soul tantrums. That's a very good way to put it. I'm familiar with those!
Amy
i am also thankful for my husband who loves me through my soul tantrums. "soul tantrums"- i like that phrase. it captures those moments of grumpiness and angst well.
A soul level tantrum where I cannot pray, “Search me…”
this is so.well.worded. i have these soul-level tantrums often, friend... how gracefully you ended up handling it. and yes, your 'imperfect prose' is always welcome, friend. always. i think it's perfect.
Love it ;). Especially because I, too, have to examine my heart with those shift changes.
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