She crawled at 5 months, walked at 9 months, and had a new baby sister that needed our attention one month after her first birthday. She didn't seem to have much time or need for snuggling- she was on the go and she was the big kid, not the baby.
Recently, she has been doing more growing up. You know that kind of growing up that happens when you are almost nine, when you start changing, and everything seems so overwhelming? Along with that changing and growing up has come a lot of emotion- tears and frustration and bickering.
I felt this ache in my heart as I realized how quickly she is growing up and how disconnected she and I have been this winter. I"ve been frustrated with her and she's been frustrated with me and more than a few nights I've cried and prayed about how sad I was to be losing my little girl to the tween years. As I prayed, God gave me some direction that was different from what I expected. You know what He told me to do?
Hug her more.
I was so surprised. Every once in awhile she's asked for a hug or snuggle time, but it always seemed to come when I couldn't (or didn't want to) give her that kind of attention. It appeared to come when she wanted out of something like going to bed at night or when I was right in the middle of something like cooking dinner or finishing a project and my answer had to be, "I can't right now. I'm busy."
I hadn't noticed how little physical affection I had been giving her lately, and I hadn't noticed how hungry she was for it. Until I started giving it to her.
Instead of opening the door in the morning and saying, "Rise and shine. Get up for school!" I've been going in to her room a few minutes early and snuggling with her until she wakes up. At school, I won't let her leave my car in the morning without a kiss and hug goodbye, and throughout the day, I've tried to grab her as often as I can and hug that little girl that she still is and will always be to me.
I didn't know hugs were her love language, or how empty her little love tank had become, but she's blooming lately and seems like a new, more peaceful girl. She needed Mommy hugs, and I'm so thankful God showed me she did, because what I didn't know or expect was how much I needed those hugs, too.
I love my girl!
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5 comments:
This is precious, Becky! It's amazing to me how even to this day (at 34) how precious my mom's hugs are to me. They make all the difference. Good job, running to the Lord AND listening to His reply! :)
Thank you for sharing this! I was in tears. You are such a good mom to be listening to the Lord and making such a difference in your daughters life. I was blessed: )
Oh Beck, I have had those same experiences lately and the same exact conviction! They grow up way to fast! Love you and you are such a great Mom!! :)
Oh Becky, this post has me in tears and I'm really not the crying type!! My oldest turns 8 this week and I'm sensing some change and those frustrations as well...so thankful we have a Father who will guide us through this journey of motherhood!!! And sisters to share it with as well!! Blessings to you and thanks for your prayers as well via the Rise and Shine FB page!! Blessings, Jill
I've been meaning to post a comment about this for the past four days! Sorry I'm so late!
Thank you for sharing about this, Becky. Your post hit home with me in so many ways and I've been thinking about what you said every time I interact with my nine-year-old. I've been trying to hug her more, too, though I think her love language is *gifts*, which makes it hard, because there's only so much you can/want to buy for a child. My little O tends to push me away when I try to hug her, but I've been making her hug me lately -- and actually, I think she wants me to, even though she acts like she doesn't.
This comment is getting long, but I just wanted you to know we're in the trenches together. You are not alone! I am so glad we're friends. I can tell God brought us together for a reason. Thank you for the encouragement you pour into my life.
Amy
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