Giveaways, Giveaways Make Me Happy : )

If you know me, you know I love The Nester. 

Other people love The Nester, too.  Nester has really cool friends who make and sell really cool stuff, and I have been spending the last two days drooling over some of that really cool stuff that her really cool friends are giving away.  

Entering all of the giveaways, I've been wishing I could win them all, and then it dawned on me.  I need to let my blogging friends know about all of this before it's too late for them to enter, too.  If I don't win, I would love to see one of you win!  

So go over here and enter! 

The Nester isn't the only one giving things away.  Today, I entered to win $2,000 from Dave Ramsey.  Winning that would be really, really cool!  (And he's giving stuff away everyday for awhile).  

And my current favorite giveaway of all of them is being hosted by Krista from Hope in the Waiting.  She is giving away a copy of one of my books.  Krista said, "I am praying that the Lord knows just the right person who needs to read this book."  I'm praying the same thing.  If reading the book would be a blessing to you personally or you know someone you'd like to give it to, make sure you hop over and enter the giveaway.  She's drawing the winner tomorrow morning. 

Good luck to me and you! 

Tweet

Aa-chew! Sniffle, Sniffle...Where did that week go?

Sitting down to update my blog today, I realized a whole week passed since my last post. But how is this possible? I distinctly recall composing all of those eloquent, entertaining, and inspiring posts in my head? How could it be that they were never published?

Well, I suppose, if anything, you can call me the Queen of Good Intentions.

And if I'm looking to cast blame, I guess it can fall on my new relationship. : )

You see, Mr. Kleenex Box and I have been constant companions this week. We've spent little time a part.

And strangely enough, I've noticed King Charming hasn't resented my new relationship or expressed any jealousy at all. It appears he enjoyed his own fling this week with a box of Kleenex.

You know, those who sneeze together (and cough, and share NyQuil, and watch endless hours of worthless TV together) stay together.

I'm thankful we could sympathize with one another, but our poor house shows major signs of neglect. Almost as bad as my poor neglected blog.

Never fear, though, I'm on the road to recovery, and hoping to recall, if not all of the entertaining, enlightened, and inspiring blog posts from my memory, at least a few salvageable pieces to share with all of you. : )

And today is Wednesday, so I hope you'll hop over to Mommies With Hope's blog for the second installment of the online study for And Then You Were Gone .

XOXOXO (germ free of course)

Tweet

You're Invited

If you follow me on Facebook and Twitter, you've heard me talk a lot about Mommies With Hope.

Mommies With Hope is a group based in Iowa that supports women who are going through pregnancy, infant, or child loss. I love their heart for hurting women, and their focus on looking to the Bible for real answers.

I'm so honored that they've chosen to study And Then You Were Gone in their hope meetings in Iowa and also on their blog each Wednesday this Fall. The first post is up today, and the blog study is open to everyone, so here is your official invitation to join in the discussion here. I plan on being a part of it myself and hope you'll join me. : )

I had the privilege of meeting Teske Drake, the founder of Mommies With Hope, in 2009 at the She Speaks conference in North Carolina, and I know you are going to love her!

Many of you reading my blog are not struggling with pregnancy loss, but do know people who are or have in the past, and want to know how to help. Reading the book will help you understand better how to help, and this online study would be a great place for you to send your friends for support.

I'm excited to see what God has planned for this study this Fall and so humbled and grateful to see Him using our story.

Love,

Tweet

My Book is Ready to Order! : )

I'm home from vacation-

Well rested.

Grateful.

And with good news to share!

My book is ready to order~

So many of you have been following my blog for a long time and have prayed for me and this book. I can't thank you enough!

Please keep praying.

Please pray it will touch hearts and point many people to hope and healing.

Please pray for me. I'm feeling insecure and nervous, but also excited to see what God has planned.

I love you all so much!

Tweet

Sneak Peak

Only a few more weeks!

Stay tuned...

Thanks for your love and prayers.

Tweet

Allow Them to Use Their Gifts

This is the devotion I wrote for church this week. Portions of it are excerpted from my book, And Then You Were Gone: Restoring the Broken Heart after Pregnancy Loss which I'm excited to say will be published this spring by Pleasant Word. I'm looking forward to seeing what God wants to do with our story.

From God's Word:

Click and Read Hebrews 10:19-25

Key Verse:
Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another- and all the more as you see the Day approaching. -Hebrews 10:25 (NIV)

Church was an almost unbearable place to be after my miscarriages. Each week I would think to myself, “OK, I’m fine today,” but the desire to leave would hit immediately as I entered the building.

I tried week after week to “be strong this time” and would make myself sit down in the sanctuary. As worship began, the music stirred emotions, leaving me vulnerable, and the tears would inevitably start falling. I knew, “I have to get out of here or I’m going to start bawling,” but I realized walking out would allow everyone to see I had been crying. If I stayed, I wouldn’t be able to keep from sobbing and causing a scene. I was trapped. Choosing to leave the sanctuary, I wandered around until the service ended trying to get myself under control and presentable before anyone could see me.

Picking up my daughters from their classes, I would run into well meaning people who were unaware of the situation. They would look at me with a quizzical look and innocently ask, “Now when are you due again?” It was awful explaining everything, watching these sweet people become mortified because they had hurt me by asking.

This struggle continued for months. It was just too painful and embarrassing to be there, and there were constant reminders of what I lost. Churches are full of pregnant women and babies. One service ended for me when I opened the bulletin and read the advertisement for the upcoming Father/Son campout.

Knowing I needed to be there, by God’s strength I continued to show up to services and Bible studies week after week. I was constantly embarrassed by my weakness. Telling myself, “I’m not going to cry this time,” didn’t work. I always ended up in tears. I hated being so publicly emotional, but I didn’t know how to stop it.

There is no verse in the Bible that says, “God helps those who help themselves.” Most Americans believe it is in there somewhere because it is a cultural tradition, yet the truth is God helps those who run to Him in weakness, and rely upon His grace.

He also places us in a spiritual family so we can be helped by each other. Our key verse says, “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another- and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

As difficult as it was to control my emotions when I was at church, had I been able to stop the flow of emotion or hidden my pain, I would have robbed other believers of an opportunity to use their gifts to minister to me.

I was amazed how many times God lined up specific people to minister to me during those times I struggled to be at church. When I left the sanctuary, some woman who had also miscarried in the past would “magically” appear to pray with me. When I felt alone and emotional, someone would hug me. When I needed a word from the Lord, someone would read scripture that spoke directly to my heart. When I was in Bible Study, people said things they didn’t know where meant for me. I experienced the work of the Spirit through the love, prayers, hugs, words of prophecy and wisdom that came from the flesh and blood people in my church family. We have a large church, but it became small as people poured out love on me.

Some of the best comfort came from women who had been there. They could minister in a way no one else could. After she read 2 Corinthians 1:3-5, my friend Jeanine began praying she would have an opportunity to comfort someone else in the way she had been comforted when she miscarried. If I had run away from church and fellowship, then I would have not been a part of that prayer being answered.

It feels good to be used by the Lord. When we are weak, we allow others the privilege of being used by the Lord in our circumstance. Pastor Bob tells us often that when Christians go off on their own they “get weird.” We need each other. As we draw near to God, He often sends us to our spiritual family for some love and comfort. Don’t run away.

Excerpt from And Then You Were Gone: Restoring the Broken Heart after Pregnancy Loss. All rights reserved. Do not copy or use without author's permission.

Personal Application:
Do you ever find yourself embarrassed over your emotion or weakness at church or around other Christians?

Remember that by allowing yourself to be weak, you allow others the joy of using their God-given gifts in response to your circumstances.

Dear Lord, Prevent me from running from fellow believers when I'm feeling weak or am hurting. Thank you for providing a spiritual family to comfort me and for giving them gifts to help me in my time of need. Thank you for the joy we all feel when we get to use our gifts to bring comfort to other people. In Jesus' Name I pray,
Amen

More of God's Word:

Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully. - Romans 12:4-8 (NIV)

Tweet

Doors

Trying Hard Not to Panic

That was the title of my blog post on Tuesday.

You see, Saturday night while we were at Mom and Dad's, I decided to do a little finishing touches on my book proposal for the conference. As I researched for the "competition" section on my proposal, I made a startling discovery. Guess what I found.

The two editors I had made appointments to meet with, the two I'd prayed over so much, represented publishing companies that had just released their very own books on the topic of- you guessed it- miscarriage.

At that moment, I knew that I would be wasting their time pitching competition for books they had just published on the same subject.

There I was:

- 10 hours away from home
- Four days away from the conference
- Totally and completely prepared to pitch a book I now knew they would not want.

I did what any girl would do.

I cried.

A lot.

I spent the entire day Sunday mourning the loss of that particular expectation and dream. I had felt the weight so much of being a scholarship winner for the conference. I knew there were so many women who wanted the gift I was given, and I was determined not to waste it. So, I was so ready. I had handouts, sample chapters, a beautiful proposal, and then- nothing.

As I cried it out on Sunday, I learned something. I had wrapped up so much hope in getting that book published because I was counting on the book bringing meaning to our loss. God had to show me that the beauty He was and will continue to bring out of our hurt had nothing to do with me or my book.

He also showed me I was relying on myself. I wanted to be ready. I wanted to be prepared. I didn't leave any room for miracles, so He took away the crutches I was leaning on.

That night I made a crazy decision. I have a novel I've been working on, and I decided right then I was supposed to pitch that book instead. It wasn't ready though. So I didn't sleep for the next three days, worked all the way home in the car, spent hours on the telephone with my amazing dad editing what I did have, and then had to leave Thursday morning far less prepared then I would have ever wanted.

While we were in the air, my friend Rochelle handed me her devotion book she was reading. I read the devotion, overwhelmed and grateful that it was a message just for me. Here's an excerpt:

Streams in the Dessert

July 31 With skillful hands he led them - Psalm 78:72

When you are unsure which course to take, totally submit your own judgement to that of the Spirit of God, asking Him to shut every door except the right one. But meanwhile keep moving ahead and consider the absence of a direct indication from God to be the evidence of His will that your are on His path. And as you continue down the long road, you will find that He has gone before you, locking doors you otherwise would have been inclined to enter. Yet you can be sure that somewhere beyond the locked doors in one He has left unlocked. - F.B. Meyer

I knew God wrote that devotion just for Becky. You see every day this plays out in my house.

Prince Charming still has not figured out how to crawl right. (And he doesn't listen to his mommy either when I tell him he'll never be able to read because of it!) But man can he scoot! He's fast!

His sisters keep forgetting to close doors behind them, so when he sees an opportunity, he looks me in the eye and it is almost as if he says The race is on Mommy!

He scoots as fast as he can, trying to beat me to the bathroom door before I can close it in his face.

It dawned on me. How often do I do that with the Lord? How often do I try to race Him to a door before He closes it?

He's a loving parent, closing those doors I might be inclined to walk through but one day He's going to leave one open for me. It will be the "JUST RIGHT FOR BECKY" door and instead of just leaving it open for me, He'll come and lead me by the hand through it together.

Stripping away my security of being able to pitch the book I felt comfortable pitching opened doors for miracles. And those miracles happened all weekend long!

I just happened to run into just the right people to help bring me peace, to show me new ways of doing things, to encourage me and teach me, and I was able to present BOTH books to editors and other people who took my proposals and one sheets. Now I'm just waiting to see how God leads for the next step in writing and speaking.

I made friends that I'm so thankful for and spent time praying in the prayer room with a sweet lady named Charlotte who will never know how much God used her to touch me.

I felt so blessed and so loved by God. I wish I had the ability to explain it all, but it would be impossible.

Thank you, Lord for loving me. You are so good to me!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Tweet

Decisions, Decisions

I'm still a little in awe of the fact that I'm going to the She Speaks Conference in North Carolina at the end of July. Winning that scholarship was such an amazing gift. It is impossible to explain how much it means to me.

Now, I'm trying to prepare for the conference and that involves many decisions. My family will confirm that I am NOT known for my decisiveness. : )

I want all of this to be an exercise of me trusting God and not being stressed out. Insecurity and nerves creep in, but I just keep remembering how much all of this has been out of my control from the beginning. When I re-read my book, I remember how God gave me every word of it and healed me in such a miraculous way. When I think about the mere fact that I'm even going to this conference, I'm reminded that worrying is silly. I wouldn't be going at all if He hadn't made a way for me to be there.

So, I'm waiting on Him for direction about these things:

First, I need to decide which editors I want to meet with while I'm there. It feels so good to have the book finished, but I have no idea how to go about the publishing process. And even less of an idea of how to narrow down the long list of editors and agents to know which ones God has planned. The conference is so full, it is possible that I will only be able to meet with one while I'm there. I keep asking Him, "Who do you have me flying across the country to meet with?"

I am trusting that I can't get it wrong, but I still need to make that phone call. What do I do? Cast lots? Draw names? Go with a gut feeling?

I'm supposed to choose two and then provide an alternate. I do feel drawn to two names on the list and am beginning to believe I need to just follow that instinct, but I'm torn between two names for my alternate choice.

There are other decisions to make. I was hoping you all might be able to help me with these. I will be participating in a speaker evaluation group while I'm there. On Friday night, I'll share a three-minute testimony in front of peers and then later in the weekend, I'll be doing a five-minute presentation for evaluators who will give me feedback. I need to decide which topic and Scripture I will be speaking about. I've got some fuzzy ideas, but thought I might use one of my devotions as a spring board. If you have time, would you look back over these and see if you have any favorites? I really want this to be a God-led thing and not a performance. He has been teaching me a lot lately, now I need to narrow it down to what He wants me to speak about in July.

Decisions, decisions. Oh joy! I'm so thankful I don't have to rely on my own wisdom for all of this.

As much as this rambling post probably makes you believe the opposite, I really am feeling peaceful about this. The fact that I have to make these decisions at all are reflective of great blessing. Thank you, Lord!

And thank you for your help and prayers!

Love,

Tweet

He Did It For Me and I'm Crying

They announced the winners of the She Speaks Conference scholarship contest this morning at 11:00 Eastern Time. This post was my entry for the contest if you missed it.

I couldn't bring myself to look to see who won this morning, so I just prayed. I wanted it so badly, but felt so much the desire of all the people who entered, I didn't know how they could possibly choose a winner.

They couldn't....pick one that is. God made a way for them to pick three! Two hours past the announcement, I finally got the courage to go look and see who won and there it was "Everyday Becky." : )

I was shocked and started crying immediately. : ) I can't put into words how much I needed this confirmation from the Lord and how amazing it is to see Him do this for me.

I was going through my prayer journal yesterday, and reading some of my prayers about my book and my dreams for ministry. When I saw the announcement this morning, I remembered writing down this song and praying about it in December. Here's what I wrote:

Here I Am
(Song by Downhere)

Sometimes your calling, comes in a dream
Sometimes it comes in the Spirit's breeze
You reach for the deepest part of me,
And call out for the things of eternity.
But I'm a man, of dust and stains,
You move in me,
so I can say,

CHORUS:
Here I am,
Lord send me,
All of my life,
I make an offering,

Here I am,
Lord send me,
Somehow my story,
Is part of your plan,
Here I am

When setbacks and failures,
and upset plans,
Test my faith and leave me with empty hands,
Are you not the closest when it's hardest to stand?
I know that you will finish what you began.
These broken parts you redeem,
Become the song, that I can sing

(chorus)

Overwhelmed by the thought of my weakness,
And the fear that I'll fail you in the end,
In this mess, I'm just one of the pieces,
I can't put this together but you can.

Somehow my story is part of your plan and if it means I have to be exposed and transparent and take some rejection, I’ll do what you want me to do. Please give me the strength and grace to handle it and please show me the right timing. One of my favorite lines in the song is, “I can’t put this together, but you can.” I’ll just sit back and wait for your miracle, your direction, your leading, your equipping, whatever it will take to do with it what you will. Help me to truly let go.

HE'S SO GOOD TO ME!

Thank you, Lord for hearing me and caring about my dreams.
Thank you for making a way.
Thank you for the amazing confirmation I needed to not give up.
I love you.
I'm so thankful, so humbled, and so in shock. : )
I'm so excited to go.

Thank you for this miracle. Please comfort the hearts of those who did not win, but have such big dreams for you. Realize those dreams for them and move mountains to get them to the conference. Help them to feel you in this and to know that you are the author of their dreams. Thank you for being so good to me, Lord.

Tweet

"She Speaks Conference" Contest Entry

I'll never forget the Women's Retreat I went to in May of 2005. I was Mom to two precious little girls, five months pregnant with our third baby, and full of dreams for the future.

The speaker spent a lot of time talking about dreams that weekend, and ended one session by sending us out for quiet time to ask God if He shared our dreams.

Finding a quiet spot by myself, I brainstormed a list of dreams, lifting them to Him, and asking Him if He shared those dreams with me. I wrote about 20 things and have forgotten most or them, but I can close my eyes and still three of them written out:

- I want a son

- I want to write a book someday

- I want to have an effective ministry

I said, "Amen", put the list in my Bible, excited about what God would do with those dreams, and finished up the retreat. I literally drove down from the mountain top to my own deepest valley.

Two days later, I went into my five month ultrasound appointment, excited to see the baby boy I'd asked God for. Instead, we saw a silent heartbeat. Our baby boy was gone. As readers of my blog, you know that three more miscarriages and two failed adoption attempts followed that loss.

This is what God decided to do with my dreams?

It wasn't an easy process, but four years later, I've seen Him do miraculous things. Great healing things. And He has taken my dreams and refined them, making them new, and promising me He will fulfill them in His way, and in His time. I now know that He does share my dreams. He's the one who gave them to me. I trust Him to bring them about in a way I can't imagine yet. His way will produce fruit and make that effective ministry I dream about. I'm still excited to see what He will do with my dreams.

He's already begun to bring the beauty out of the ashes:

-Today, I have a beautiful, healthy seven-month-old son.

-Today, I've written a book. It is not the novel I dreamt of writing. After my second miscarriage, I was in the shower and stepped out with an outline for a book on healing after pregnancy loss. I started writing it then, and continued writing it after the next two miscarriages. I didn't know how it would ever come together to be a whole book, but it did. The whole thing was a gift from God. Every word of it was something He gave me. I'd feel compelled to write, write it down, and then go months unable to write any more. Eventually, it was finished and God took all those pieces and made it a whole. Now I'm not sure what He wants to do with it. Was it just for me? Or does He have plans to use it to help other hurting women and families? I don't know.

- Today, I've been able to minister to women around me in a way I never could have without tasting hurt myself. He's opened doors through my church for writing and teaching, and I'm hoping for more open doors in the future.

One of the ways I'm trusting Him is with the timing of the rest. I'm content right now to be a mom and a housewife. I truly love what I do and where I'm at, and I don't want to be in a hurry to move forward. But I also long to be trained for women's ministry. I long to see my book helping others if it is meant to. I want so much to learn how to be an effective speaker and teacher.

I know I can learn those things at the "She Speaks Conference" put on by Proverbs 31 Ministries in Charlotte, NC. God did miraculous things to get me there two years ago. I learned more in that one weekend than I can ever put in words, and it inspired me to finish the book that was just an outline at the time. I really believe that I am supposed to go back there again someday. There was so much more to learn than I could fit into one weekend. I don't know if this is the year or not, but I know that if I'm right, if God wants me there again, He'll make a way. It will take another miracle from Him to get me there. : )

A cross-country airplane ticket, three days in a hotel, and the conference fees are definitely not in the budget. When I saw that Proverbs 31 Ministries was hosting a blog contest to win a scholarship to this year's conference, I knew I wanted to try, to put this in the Lord's hands again and wait and see what He is going to do. If I win the chance to go, I'll praise Him for the gift. If He says "no" or "not yet," I'm determined to wait for His timing, His open doors, and His equipping me for what He's got for me to do.

I've tried on my own to push open doors, or try to make things happen, and it has been the wrong timing. The people pleaser and achiever in me has had a hard lesson to learn of being at peace with where I'm at right now, not needing anyone's approval other than God's, and the patience to wait. He's changing me, teaching me, molding me, and I have sooooo far to go. I feel and see my inadequacies and sometimes I'm afraid, and amazed to think I could do any of this anyway. I'm so thankful that He'll make me ready for whatever He gives me to do. He'll provide the training and equipping I need. I'm hoping the She Speaks Conference is in those plans. : ) For the first time, though, I truly am content in the waiting. I'm not in a hurry. I was afraid to enter this contest and try to do things according to my timeline again, but I prayed a lot about it, and waited to the last possible moment to enter, but I felt like I had God's OK to try.

If you have an opportunity to go to this conference, I can not encourage you enough to take that opportunity. It was a life changing weekend, and I'm so excited to go back!

Thank you to the judges from P31 who stopped by my blog and considered me for this scholarship. Your ministry inspires me so much.

Love,

Thank you to everyone who is stopping by to congratulate me. It means so much to me. I just wrote about winning here. You are all in my prayers. I hope I get to meet you this summer. : )

Tweet

My Book

Today, Mrs. MK wrote a blog post about my book, Hope and Healing After Pregnancy Loss. If you are visiting from her blog, welcome!

It was such an honor to read what she had to say about the book and such a blessing to meet her in person. I've been following her blog for awhile now, and have been so impressed by her and the way she is dealing with her grief. I'm grateful my story was helpful in some way.

I'll have to do a post another day about how God led me to write this book. It was a gift from Him, and the writing of it was something He used to help me heal. I'm looking forward to the day it is a "real" book instead of a manuscript. Now that the writing is done, I'd be so grateful if you would pray for the publishing process and all that entails. I'm a rookie and have a lot to learn about the process.

Please pray for the people who will read it. I hope it will point broken hearts to real hope and will help friends, family members, and churches to know how to help someone who is going through this kind of grief.

Thank you so much for your prayers. I'll keep you updated!

Tweet