I'm still a little in awe of the fact that I'm going to the She Speaks Conference in North Carolina at the end of July. Winning that scholarship was such an amazing gift. It is impossible to explain how much it means to me.
Now, I'm trying to prepare for the conference and that involves many decisions. My family will confirm that I am NOT known for my decisiveness. : )
I want all of this to be an exercise of me trusting God and not being stressed out. Insecurity and nerves creep in, but I just keep remembering how much all of this has been out of my control from the beginning. When I re-read my book, I remember how God gave me every word of it and healed me in such a miraculous way. When I think about the mere fact that I'm even going to this conference, I'm reminded that worrying is silly. I wouldn't be going at all if He hadn't made a way for me to be there.
So, I'm waiting on Him for direction about these things:
First, I need to decide which editors I want to meet with while I'm there. It feels so good to have the book finished, but I have no idea how to go about the publishing process. And even less of an idea of how to narrow down the long list of editors and agents to know which ones God has planned. The conference is so full, it is possible that I will only be able to meet with one while I'm there. I keep asking Him, "Who do you have me flying across the country to meet with?"
I am trusting that I can't get it wrong, but I still need to make that phone call. What do I do? Cast lots? Draw names? Go with a gut feeling?
I'm supposed to choose two and then provide an alternate. I do feel drawn to two names on the list and am beginning to believe I need to just follow that instinct, but I'm torn between two names for my alternate choice.
There are other decisions to make. I was hoping you all might be able to help me with these. I will be participating in a speaker evaluation group while I'm there. On Friday night, I'll share a three-minute testimony in front of peers and then later in the weekend, I'll be doing a five-minute presentation for evaluators who will give me feedback. I need to decide which topic and Scripture I will be speaking about. I've got some fuzzy ideas, but thought I might use one of my devotions as a spring board. If you have time, would you look back over these and see if you have any favorites? I really want this to be a God-led thing and not a performance. He has been teaching me a lot lately, now I need to narrow it down to what He wants me to speak about in July.
Decisions, decisions. Oh joy! I'm so thankful I don't have to rely on my own wisdom for all of this.
As much as this rambling post probably makes you believe the opposite, I really am feeling peaceful about this. The fact that I have to make these decisions at all are reflective of great blessing. Thank you, Lord!
And thank you for your help and prayers!