Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Shift Change

Part of the life I signed on for,
Expected,

His new hours aren’t bad-


            Weekends off
           At least it’s not nights!



Just rearrange the schedule
Like we always do and


Adjust.


            But something hardens
            The words “shift change” hit this time unexpectedly
            Like tipped arrows,
            Nicking my heart with the poison of


Self Pity.


            No!
            I don’t want to s-h-i-f-t and
            I don’t want to change!
            I like the way it is.


A soul level tantrum where I cannot pray, “Search me…”
Because He will not find poetry inside,
Only the off rhythm heartbeat of,


“Me, me, me, me.”


The shift comes and the change happens
I fold my arms and pout, until
The dark parts are held up to the Light and
The still small Voice whispers,

“It’s time”


I surrender to the shift
I embrace the change
I adjust and
I grow.


And Shift Change becomes 


Good.



**************************************************
I'm writing this today as an expression of gratitude for my patient husband, who loves me through the "soul tantrums" and times when my heartbeat is off rhythm. 


I'm linking up for the first time with "A Holy Experience" for Walk with Him Wednesday"





And also for a second time with sweet Emily for Imperfect Prose.   I'm so thankful for the permission to admit and to be imperfect.







Love,

11 comments:

Jen said...

i honestly think that when we confess our imperfections, when we air them publicly, there is a more profound shift within us, that we do become more than conquerors, an incentive to make those changes which enrich our souls and glorify Him.

Ramblings by Carol Nuckols said...

"Shift" and "change" --- those two words say it all, don't they?

David N. said...

It's certainly no fun rolling with the professional punchs, as I know from experience! Hang in there.

Connie Mace said...

"A soul level tantrum where I cannot pray, “Search me…”
Because He will not find poetry inside,
Only the off rhythm heartbeat of,
“Me, me, me, me.”...oh how I pray we have less off rhythms and more leaning in to hear His Heartbeat...may it be so

becky said...

Love the beat of your writing...it's like poetry. Nothing like a confession, eh?

Craig said...

I’m here from Ann’s today.

To surrender to the shift – that is a good bride. It’s ok to not want to – and even grumble a little – but in the end you do what is right for your marriage. I heart that.

Thank you for this.

God Bless and Keep You and your husband and your marriage

Julie said...

i throw many soul tantrums myself. Shift change is hard, and a struggle. I am still learning to find peace in it.

A.L. Sonnichsen said...

Soul tantrums. That's a very good way to put it. I'm familiar with those!

Amy

alittlebitograce said...

i am also thankful for my husband who loves me through my soul tantrums. "soul tantrums"- i like that phrase. it captures those moments of grumpiness and angst well.

emily wierenga said...

A soul level tantrum where I cannot pray, “Search me…”


this is so.well.worded. i have these soul-level tantrums often, friend... how gracefully you ended up handling it. and yes, your 'imperfect prose' is always welcome, friend. always. i think it's perfect.

Betty said...

Love it ;). Especially because I, too, have to examine my heart with those shift changes.