Saturday, November 7, 2009

But God, Isn't this the Wrong Way?

Warning: You are about to enter the realm of my wandering, rambling thoughts. It probably won't make a lot of sense. : )

So what are you doing, Lord?

It's so weird. I've been taking steps- (albeit tentative, nervous steps)- in a certain direction that I THOUGHT God was leading me in. Now there are new ideas, things that may be coming from Him, but appear to be going in the OPPOSITE direction than where I thought He was leading.

And it is quite possible I could be making it all up and this new direction isn't coming from Him at all. Confusing, huh? : )

Then there are remaining questions of unanswered things that I thought He was doing and then didn't. There still seems to be so many loose ends floating around inside of me, and I can't imagine how He is going to tie up those loose ends. I guess I just have to trust that He will.

Decisions, decisions, decisions...

Ideas, ideas, ideas...

What are God ideas and What are Becky ideas???

And even if we turn around and walk in what feels like the WRONG way, isn't God capable of getting me to the RIGHT place anyway?

In your prayers, above everything else, beware of limiting God, not only through unbelief but also by thinking you know exactly what He can do. Learn to expect the unexpected, beyond all that you ask or think.

See each time you intercede through prayer, first be quiet and worship God in His glory. Think of what He can do, how He delights in Christ His Son, and of your place in Him – then expect great things.” -Andrew Murray

I love the title of Lysa TerKeurst's book, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God? That phrase has been running through my mind all morning, and I keep responding, "What happens when you are willing to say yes, but don't know what to say 'yes' to?" Guess I better read the book instead of just the title. : )

Oh well, no matter which direction He's leading me, He's definitely working IN me. Guess there is stuff in there that needs some remodeling.

Lord, please bring clarity and direction to the chaos of all my scattered ideas, half done projects, ambitions and dreams.

I want to follow, not lead.

I want to follow, not drag my feat.

I want faith and courage and wisdom to lead the way, no longer held back by fear and procrastination and rabbit trails.

Remember, Lord, how in the fourth grade Mrs. Hall called me "her little absent-minded professor"? Not much has changed since then.

So instead of this fretting, I'm going to just be quiet and worship You. Then I'll see what you do next.



Rachel Beran said...

Becky, if you're like me you want to have it all figured out from beginning to will it look, what will it be like, etc. But, I am reminded of how much joy comes in just stepping out in faith...and trusting that God will lead in the right direction. He has a plan for you and is obviously working IN you right now. :)

Keep seeking Him and His ways...and you will go in the right direction. :)

Jill Beran said...

I am not confused at all with your words - my mind can work the same way all too often! Praying you will continue to sense His guidance and follow His lead.
Blessings, Jill

Emma said...

I love you Beck! And will be praying for ya. I think we all feel like that at times in our lives.

Lori said...

I know how you feel. I start to do something that I think is what I'm supposed to do only to stop mid way thru and realize its not. I will be praying for Gods guidance for you.

Sharon said...

I am in the same place... praying for clear direction but not knowing if what I'm hearing is God or just me... So hard sometimes! Isn't it nice when He just makes it really CLEAR? Ah, faith.

This is my first visit - Blessings to you!

I'll also invite you to swing by if you have the chance today -- I host a weekly carnival on JOY and I'm betting you might have some of that to share!

Teske @ Mommies with Hope said...

I can so relate, Becky. That's how I'm feeling with graduation drawing near (May 2010) and with my most recent loss experience. I had another miscarriage on Nov. 5th - 2nd trimester (writing about it on my blog). Trying to figure out what God's up to in my life and resting in His sovereignty.